Pastor Laura, who is officially on maternity leave and is very patiently and actively waiting for her third baby to arrive, has somehow also found time to write this beautiful post. As you read her words may you be encouraged, with whatever things you are personally waiting for in your life, to wait with the assurance that you will see the goodness of the Lord.
this year, may was a most-anticipated month for our family as it was to be the birth month of our third baby. may has come and passed and here we are, still waiting to welcome our baby into the world. the last month of pregnancy is all about waiting and while i normally consider myself a patient person, i have been prone to spastic attacks of impatience as well. they’re normally brought on after the baby played soccer in my uterus at three in the morning, having to pee again after having just gone pee, or after one of my kids drops a bowl of goldfish crackers while running, crushing and scattering them all over the floor (it’s not easy to bend over when your uterus is the size of a watermelon). i sense others are impatient as well when i hear comments like, “you’re so huge! you haven’t had the baby yet?” or “you look ready to pop!” or my favourite, “woah,” accompanied by eyes widening to epic proportions. *note: speak these phrases at your own risk to an already hormonal late-stage pregnant woman who is fully aware of their weight gain: she may burst into tears or punch you in the face (or at least want to). even my girls are in on the impatient waiting game as there are some mornings when i’m greeted by, “aww, the baby hasn’t come out yet?” or “mommy! your tummy looks like a watermelon!” waiting, even for good things, sometimes sucks.
may is also the anniversary month of my dad’s death two years ago. he died relatively quickly after his cancer diagnosis and while there was some hope for recovery in the first few months, the last month was spent waiting for him to pass away. i remember getting the call that his time was near and scrambling to make travel and childcare arrangements. it was a busy few hours and the first quiet moment i had to contemplate what was coming was while in line at the café at the airport. i can’t recall if i was crying or what my face looked like, but what i do remember is that i went to pay for my drink only to discover that someone had already paid for it. it was a small gesture and yet a deep one that reminded me that there was goodness even in darkness.
the next week or so was spent in the hospital, waiting, praying for a miracle then praying for a peaceful passing. between those moments, i went through somewhat of a crisis, wondering if it was in God’s heart to pray for death to come swiftly. my dad was in pain, suffering endlessly, and at some point i saw that additional interventions were no longer prolonging his life but prolonging his death.
waiting is hard. waiting for life, waiting for death; waiting for big things, waiting for little things. waiting is a given in life and none can escape it. but the question is, how will we wait? we can choose to wait patiently or impatiently, actively or passively. we can choose to let waiting build our character or tear it down, especially when we compare how little others have had to wait for ________ (you can fill in the blank).
if you’re in a season of waiting, i encourage you to wait patiently and actively, building your character and your relationship with jesus. because ultimately, we are all waiting for him, longing for heaven. choose to look upon the goodness of jesus, be strong, let your heart take courage, and wait for the lord (psalm 27). it’s okay to acknowledge that waiting sucks and yet still wait with joy. it’s what i’ve been trying to do every day in may and now june, as i wait for baby and remember my dad. whatever you’re waiting for, let’s wait together, giving strength to each other to take courage in waiting.